| — | Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things |
I believe if I were made lady head last year,things would've just been so different and if I were to turn back time,I'd still relive being a deputy anytime.I saw the kind of pressure you'd have and falling short of teachers and students expectations alike can be daunting. So,thank you Lord.
Now on to serious matters.There was this point of time I actually considered taking my life.I know it's stupid,I already know. I just couldn't take the emotional weightage. It was just too much.I know it's wrong to say this but I actually thought about it. I was facing things alone,in a crowd of people. Broken. I just had to pick up the pieces on my own cuz I knew I just had to. No one could. People just didn't want to listen.Properly. And also because I couldn't bring myself to pour out everything cuz I know it would've been too overwhelming to the listener. I didn't blog as much because I just couldn't vent. I'm not trying to scare you or anything ( ifyou'rereadingthis) but I knew I meant the world to one person and also because of an incident few months back,so that really put my thoughts in a rational state because I saw how much it hurt people. Having him around didn't help much as well because my heart bled each time I remembered the past.
I know you must be thinking I'm crazy. Stupid, even, to think about it. But that was how much hurt I had inside. So I took a day off. I cried my heart out. And felt so much better after that. And so day by day,I coped. People say I'm strong,so I guess I'll believe what they say.
I'm fine now,really. It was just a thought. Nothing else. Just want to document this part of my life in this measly lil blog no one reads now so I can come back some time in the near future to read it.
With love,Deb.
1 comments:
hey debbie
u never told me u were having trouble
well, we all do. me included, of course. it's a long story =P
but u need to remember there are still people who are willing to listen n lend u a shoulder
the problem is, we are always absorbed with our problems so much we fail to see the beauty that lies hidden
I've considered taking my life before - many times. I never told anyone, so people still think I'm the vivacious dude that I am. but in reality, I'm far from perfect
despite all that has transpired, we must always have faith in ourselves and in God. Life is a struggle, but it doesn't mean that we should go on about it by ourselves
I'm glad u're a friend to have, Deb. and I'm glad that you're pulling through all the thick and thin. but always remember u have a (step-/god-)brother here 2 keep u close when you need a hand
cheers to you, sis =D
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